I was basically on long paragraph. Not a great attempt for a first try plenty of room for improving.«1» I would suggest that in the future you either get someone to proof read for you. Desi xxx I would suggest that in the future you either get someone to proof read for you. Idea of the story is great hopefully you have more ideas similar to this and you proofread and fix your future works before posting them. At the very least wait a day or two and then re-read it your self. At the very least wait a day or two and then re-read it your self. Wish there was more description in the beatings the assholes got and the after effects and reactions of others at the party, but maybe you’ll give us more in your next attempt.anonymous readerReport 2013-09-14 12:21:29While I applaud your effort.
